Happy Leap Year!!! Last day of February and we all know what that means....first day of March tomorrow, hence white rabbit day! I have had a few questions re. how this works. One person asked could you just wake up and "think" white rabbits? Answer is absolutely not! The word white rabbits must be said out loud. Yes, I know your bed partner might think you are losing it. Mine has thought that for 33 years! The good news is that he is now a convert and has decided although he thinks it is nonsense he will say it just in case! Someone else asked if you could say it ahead of time! Well...you can practice ahead of time....It certainly won't hurt, in fact this morning after I had already spoken, I had a small panic attack because I thought I had missed having my first words of the day being "white rabbits". Understandable when you consider that in a normal year today would have been the first of the month. Our friends, the Lenzins, also believe in this practice except they only say "rabbits". Works for them! In any case I will be cuddled up to Isabelle (my stuffed white rabbit) tonight to remind myself what an important "White Rabbit Day" tomorrow is. If you don't have an Isabelle you will have to find another way to remind yourself but whatever you do, do not forget!

This morning my phone rang and it was the Nuclear Medicine Department at the hospital telling me my PET scan was scheduled for tomorrow. I was shocked as Dr. Gelfand told me yesterday it was still too early for me to have a PET and it would be happening sometime in the next couple of weeks. I called his office to check it out but the office was closed for the day. Left a message for the morning but was pretty sure tomorrow's scan would not happen. I was right. A little later I got a call back and was told my scan was booked for March 14. It's funny, but of all the things I have had done to me, including the pending surgery, the thing that scares me the most and gives me the most anxiety is this PET Scan. I know it scares me because it can be the one thing that would alter the plan as it shows if the tumor has spread! Although the possibility of this is unlikely, there is still a possibility. That, to me, is terrifying! I look forward to getting that over with and then get on with the business of focussing on the upcoming surgery on March 27.

Think Bill and I are going to head down to Pincher Creek on the weekend and visit my brother and his wife for a couple of days. I need some diversions to keep my mind occupied!

Saw the surgeon today. He explained to me that the optimal time for the surgery is 6 weeks out from chemo/radiation treatment. They do not like to do it much before 6 weeks and it must be done before 8 weeks. Unfortunately for me he is away from March 22-26 and does not want to perform the surgery and then leave me so his choice is for March 27. I would have really preferred a little bit earlier date as it gives me more time to recuperate prior to Geoff and Lindsey's wedding but he said if all goes well I should be good to go! So those white rabbits are crucial! I'm counting on all of you on this one! My brother is having hip surgery on the 22nd so we will no doubt be the live wires of the wedding. I can already see the two of us sitting by the pool sipping pina colodas (mine will most likely be virgin....Damn!) This later date is also problematic for Kelli as she was wanting to be home for this time. I have tried to convince her that she should continue with her program but she insists that home is where she needs to be!

I guess I should just be happy the doctor thinks I will be well enough to attend the wedding. No point in worrying about things I have no control over. Time to revisit my friend Kunsang's Tibetan philosophy on Karma! " If you have some fear of pain and suffering you should examine if there is anything you can do about it. If you can there is no need to worry about it. If you cannot do anything then there is no need to worry about it."

We did ask a few questions....a couple of them were Kelli's questions and he knew instantly that Bill and I couldn't have possibly dreamed them up. The question I really wanted to ask was what happens if he has to go to the bathroom during my 9 hour surgery! This is a very real concern to me, being a person who suffers from tiny bladder syndrome!!! I cannot even imagine going for that length of time without a washroom visit! Kelli assures me that they can leave the operating theatre if necessary but most do not! Teachers are always complaining that they have three opportunities in a day to use the washroom: recess, lunch, and after school! I'm thinking we have nothing to complain about when we see what these guys do!!! Trust me to think of this!!!!

So, have a PETSCAN and another endoscope between now and then and providing everything is how it should be surgery on March 27! Could be a long month!  In closing a gentle reminder to all of you to remember your WHITE RABBITS ON Thursday morning.
I'm counting on all of you!!!

Sitting at my computer working on the wedding movie! That combined with Geoff's 29th birthday on Saturday makes me realize how fast the time flies! Our friends Bob and Holly were over on the weekend and I was telling Holly about my movie and commenting on how many photos I had of their kids and ours! Holly's comment was that she wished she could have those days back! So true....we almost wish our lives away...I remember thinking how good it would be when my kids could talk...how neat it would be when they crawled..Wishing they were toilet trained. I could hardly wait for each of them to walk! Then it was hoping they would learn how to read, learn to swim, drive a car, get a job.....and on and on.....We always seem to be wishing and waiting for something to happen when our kids are growing up and then when they get there we wish we could go back and do it again! Well...maybe not all of it but certainly parts of the growing up years are precious and would be worthy of a rerun!

Looking forward to my doctors appointment tomorrow and hoping for some specific dates! Kelli has written out some questions for us to ask the doctor. I know the doctor will know they are not questions Bill and I thought up ourselves! I didn't even know what a couple the questions meant and hope he doesn't say "What are you asking?" We'll look like idiots!

Found a poem today that I have had for many years. It makes me think of my Mom and I hope my kids feel the same way about me. It goes like this.....

My mother kept a garden
a garden of the heart.
She planted all the good things
that gave my life it's start.
She turned me to the sunshine
and encouraged me to dream,
Fostering and nurturing
the seeds of self-esteem....
And when the winds and rain came
she protected me enough-
But not too much because she knew
I'd need to stand up strong and tough.
Her constant good example
always taught me right from wrong-
Markers for my pathway
that will last a lifetime long.
I am my Mother's garden
I am her legacy-
And I hope she knew the love
reflecting back from me!

I love this poem!

I am again posting the reminder that Wednesday is the end of the month....Thursday is March 1st so DO NOT FORGET TO SAY YOUR WHITE RABBITS!! I have already had several promises back along with the promise that the luck would be forwarded on to me! THANKS...I PLAN TO BANK ALL THE LUCK I CAN GET!!!

Brrrr.....another chilly one but Kelli, Boomer and I did brave it and did our loop of Nose Hill this afternoon. I think it was the guilt of eating waffles and bacon for brunch this morning!
I have been busy beefing up this weekend....getting ready for the big weigh in on Tuesday because I know Bill will be looking over my shoulder making sure my weight has stayed up! How many of you have husbands who's mission is to grow you bigger!!??? Not one of you! Most of us never even let our husbands see the number that registers on the scale!

I am really looking forward to Tuesday's appointment although Kelli has warned me it will be a sobering appointment where they will go over the surgery, the risks and have me sign consents. They give you all the worst case scenarios but to be honest after reading the possible side effects on the drugs I have been taking one would probably opt right out of treatment if you paid attention to any of that stuff! Most of them even caution a side effect could be possible death!

I have been enjoying emails from some of my students at school. It reminds me of the days I used to have penpals! I ran into one of my students at Super Store yesterday. A grade 6 student who's family emigrated to Canada from India not to long ago. We had a nice long chat beside the vegetables. He filled me in on what was going on at school and told me that the kids were really missing me (I'm also missing them!) After our chat I gave him a big hug and told him to say hi to everyone at school. As I pushed my cart away I saw a gentleman giving me a strange look and it occurred to me I had never met this little guys family and his Dad was probably wondering who the heck this strange woman was hugging his kid!!!

I am going to start reminding everyone today that the end of February is fast approaching. Of course there are 29 days this month which makes Thursday the 1st of March! Some of you let me down last month on your White Rabbits! A reminder that the first words out of your mouth on Thursday morning MUST BE WHITE RABBITS!!! This will ensure good luck for the remainder of the month! I would be most appreciative if you would donate your luck to me! Will remind you EVERY SINGLE DAY until Wednesday! I think I'm going to need a little luck along with my positive attitude this month!

I am still in "wait" mode but am really looking forward to seeing the surgeon on Tuesday. My hope is that is will give me a date at that time.  Kelli is home for the weekend. Geoff and Lindsey had their civil service yesterday and although legally married (Yahoo!....we love Lindsey!) they are still viewing their real wedding as their wedding in Mexico in the spring! This is where many of their friends and family will be in attendance.

Today is Geoff's 29th birthday! I'm sitting here shaking my head because I really can't believe that it was that long ago he made his difficult entrance into the world! Not the most cooperative baby, I must say. Almost 30 hours of hard labour! I foolishly thought that being fit was going to ensure an easy delivery! Not so! This is one time my fitness definitely let me down! I swam almost every day up until the day he was delivered. I shudder at the picture I can pull up in my head of myself in a navy blue polka dot maternity swim suit. OMG that must have been quite the sight! The song that comes to mind is "Baby Beluga"..... Perhaps I should look at the delivery the same way I'm looking at my treatment…I probably wouldn't have survived that 30 hours if I hadn't been fit!  So lots of special things happening this weekend despite the cold weather outside and hopefully an eventful week to come!

Halleluiah! The basement is done! Every last pipe has been changed out so we shouldn't have to worry about springing any more leaks! The heating ducts are reconnected so the house is warm again....just in time for Kelli's arrival home this weekend. She always complains that our house is cold....she wouldn't have appreciated the temperature these past few days. We sorted through lots of junk and threw away bags of stuff. It is amazing what one hangs onto. I even found my brother's cub uniform!

Got permission from the surgeon to visit the dentist for a cleaning. Had to postpone my appointment in December when all of this began and know it will be sometime after the surgery before I can have dental work done so was very grateful when they slipped me in for an appointment this morning! Not that I love going to the dentist but I do love it when it's over and my teeth are clean! Love the result, not the process! From there went to Van Dome's for lunch with my friend Maureen. Van Dome's was her suggestion and I thought when she suggested it I had never been there but when I rolled up I realized that I had in fact been here a few years ago and vividly remember the lunch. I was having lunch with my friend Kathy when I got a very paniced phone call from Kelli. It was the day her medical school application was due for and she had just discovered that two of the people who had agreed to provide references had not yet submitted them. We spent a harried couple of hours trying to reach each of these people. One, a prof, was down east and the other a friend was just on his way to leave on a trip! Fortunately each of them got the references submitted in time but it was probably one of the most stressful afternoons I have had! I know it was so for Kelli, and I think we both had doubts that she would be successful in her bid to get in with the rush job. Fortunately our fears were unfounded!

Continue to feel good! Very happy to know that I will be seeing Dr. Gelfand on Tuesday and crossing my fingers that he will have a surgery date for me!

THE NICE THING IS YOU ARE ALWAYS IN CHARGE OF YOUR MOOD....SO PICK A GOOD ONE!!

I was patient today until about 11:30 but bY 11:30 my patience had run thin. Decided I would try to call the doctor's office but once again got the answering machine. I know they are very busy but left my message asking the nurse to please return my call as I had some questions. She did call me shortly thereafter, made note of my questions which included "what's the plan from this point forward?" She said she would call me as soon as she had talked with the doctor. A couple of hours later she called back, answered my questions and told me that the doctor would like to see me next Tuesday and they were booking me for a PET scan the first week of March! I am already feeling better. There is a plan! There is some action! I have a focus again!

Headed off to Nose Hill with Boomer feeling much better about things. It was cool today but we were both happy to be out. Came across a dogless couple and of course Boomer in his usual fashion had to rush over to them, lay on his back and wiggle all over when they bent down to pat him. This is the standard greeting for absolutely everyone, whether they like dogs or not. You would think he gets absolutely no attention at home the way he behaves! These people loved him and made a big fuss over "the puppy". My PUPPY is 8 years old! He just doesn't know it! I joked that he would gladly go home with them if invited and the lady said "We knew he was friendly when he was approaching us because he is like a big smile!" I have never heard him described as a BIG SMILE but it is the perfect description of him "A Big Smile!". Geoff used to joke that Boomer doesn't walk....he frolics! He has been doing it since the day we got him! He is the happiest creature I have ever met but when I think about it what's not to be happy about. You eat, you sleep, you play and everyone's schedule revolves around your needs!

An update on the Honey Badgers for those of you who are Honey Badger supporters! The Honey Badgers are in third place in the province of Alberta for their fundraising efforts. To date they have raised almost $35,000 thanks to many of you! Thankyou so much for your donations! Your support means the world to us. I recently learned that almost all cancer research is privately funded so fundraisers such as this ride are critical. The team is growing and there are now 15 people signed on! I so wish I could ride with them but will have to content myself with being the cheerleader this year! Will add it to my growing list of things I want to do in the future!

Up early to take Bill to the Foothills for his colonoscopy! Must confess we were both thinking wouldn't this be great if they found something! That would truly be getting shit upon by the universe! Fortunately this was not the case and he got the clean bill of health and the directive to not come back for ten years! Phew!!! It amazes me how many people I know, over 50 who have not had this test and are not on the list for it. When I was at the Tom Baker I would guess that this was one of the more common cancers that people were there for. My good friend's mother was recently diagnosed with colon cancer and was told that the tumour had been growing for 10-15 years! It is a slow growing cancer but also one that is totally curable if caught early. So if you are one of those people who's doctor doesn't think it's necessary because you are low risk I would suggest you pressure him/her to get you on the list or switch doctors!

Went for a walk, picked Bill up at 9:30, and headed to the Lazy Loaf for breakfast,then headed off for some retail therapy guy style. Something about the hospital seems to make us want to go shop! Anyways...his idea of retail therapy and my idea of retail therapy are quite different. We went to Lee Valley to buy tools!!! From there it was to Market Mall for socks! How boring! I wouldn't even call this therapeutic but he's happy!

Got home about two, checked my answering machine hoping the doctor's office had called....no such luck so bit the bullet and called them! Wouldn't you know it, gone for the day! So I left a message telling them I was hoping for a plan and would they please call me tomorrow. Guess I will just cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Beautiful day today.  Went to Geoff's hockey game and then met a friend for a walk in Nose Hill!  Figure we should be out enjoying this spring like weather as the forecast isn't for it to continue.

Had coffee with Lisa yesterday and we got talking fitness and she told me to have a look at You Tube....23 and a half hours!  Have a look if you feel inclined!  It is quite inspiring and makes you think about the value of exercise and fitness!  It is actually quite surprising how little you have to do to have a positive impact on your health!

Saw an interesting quote the other day...."Motivation is what gets you started.....habit is what keeps you going."  I have many friends who have decided to get off the pot and get started on fitness programs, some have set goals for themselves, others have made substantial changes to their lifestyles.   Good for you!  I still believe that staying fit and active will see me through this.  I have come to realize that there is no rhyme or reason as to why some people come down with cancer and some don't.  Some people seem to be able to dodge it despite engaging in unhealthy practices and others who are almost zealots about their health end up getting it!  So I've got it!  To bad....so sad....now what?  I'm pulling out the big guns and am going at this with everything I've got!  The one thing I know for sure is that being fit and active makes me feel good.  It keeps me balanced and over the years has become as routine as brushing my teeth!  I come from a family where activity and fitness were always important.  My Dad who is eighty two is fitter than most people half his age!  My brother also believes that staying fit and active can help him stay healthy and ward off the progression of his MS.  So far, so good!  Bill and Geoff and Lindsey and Kelli and Mike all enjoy active lifestyles!  We all believe in the power of exercise and the benefits of being fit.   I also believe that this is what is going to save me and see me back on the road to good health!  If you have not embraced this philosophy I encourage you to rethink your life.  If you watch the link I mentioned you will realize you do not need to spend hours working out to gain health benefits!  Start small but START!  You are worth it!  

Our house is starting to return to normal.  Bill has spent four full days in the basement replacing and repairing pipes.  We finally have heat and water!  My job has been to sort through the tons of junk we seem to have accumulated in the basement over the past 24 years!  Amazing what a person keeps!  Much I have been able to part with but there are a few things that even I wonder why I feel the need to hang on.  Specifically my horse equipment.  I have not owned a horse in 40 years!  I do not think I will ever own another horse!  However, having said that I cannot bring myself to get rid of my bridles, my horse blanket and assorted other horse "stuff".  Don't ask me why!  Even I don't know.  Guess I still feel a need to keep a little piece of "Mars Bar" near. (Mars Bar was the name of my horse).  Found some old photos of my first Labrador, Thumper!  I swear that Boomer is the reincarnated form of Thumper.  You would swear from the pictures that Boomer and Thumper were the same dog!  Amazing resemblance!!!

So what I have been up to this weekend besides sorting through junk and trying to clear clutter.   Well...I did have a very interesting experience.  My friend Amy is a Reiki Master.  Up until yesterday I had no idea what Reiki was but Amy extended the offer to me that she would be happy to introduce me to Reiki.  She told me she doesn't cook, she doesn't bake but she does do Reiki and if I was interested she would be happy to do a session with me.  I went to her house not knowing what to expect.  We had a great visit and then she explained Reiki to me and how she had become interested in it.  Basically it is a Japanese technique used for stress reduction and relaxation that promotes healing.  It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive.  If one's life force energy is low then one is more likely to get sick or feel stress and if it is high  we are capable of being happy and healthy.  When she started the session with me I had negative energy coming from six of seven "eyes".  At the end I had positive energy in seven of seven.  I must confess it was very relaxing and I felt really good at the end of it.  I will certainly take Amy up on her offer to try another session.  There was a time when I was rather suspect of any alternative health practices but I have found that over time I have become much more open to the possibilities these practices can offer.

Reiki is based on the five commandments of Buddhist philosophy and goes like this:

"At least for today
Do not be angry
Do not worry
Be grateful
Work with diligence
Be kind to people
Every morning and evening
join your hands in meditation
and pray with your heart.
State in your mind and chant with your mouth
For improvement of mind and body."
-Usui Reiki Ryohu

Thank you Amy for sharing your gifts and talents with me!

Today I had coffee with my friend Lisa.  Lisa was the music teacher at my school up until a couple of years ago and we worked together for many years. She always makes me laugh, laugh, laugh.  We share a similar warped sense of humour.  A few years ago the principal at my school decided the staff were not connecting on an emotional level and he brought in a fellow who did personality typing on us.  Each personality type was assigned a colour.  Once we had completed our personality inventory and had been assigned our colour personality we were asked to go sit with others on the staff who were the same colour (personality type) as ourselves.  If I remember correctly there were four different groups.  There was the emotional, sensitive group (this was the largest group as might be expected in a group of teachers) which was assigned the colour "blue", there was the analytical concrete sequential group which was assigned the colour "green", there was a "yellow" group and I can't remember what their personality type was and there was the "orange" group which was the fun loving, get it done group.  There were only two people in the orange group, Lisa and I!!!  We still like to remind each other of this!!

Not a lot planned for tomorrow.  Poor Bill is scheduled for his colonoscopy on Tuesday so will be enjoying a "Colyte" cocktail tomorrow!  I have told him how delicious this drink is...HMMMHMMM Good.  Those of you who have endured this experience will totally appreciate the truth of this.  Colyte is the most vial, nasty, foul tasting beverage I have ever drunk.  If I had to describe what drinking it was like I would say it is like "drinking snot!".....Horrible stuff and you have to drink a full four litres of it! They recommend you chill it and drink it rapidly!  I am gagging just thinking about it!  OH the joys of being over 50!  The things they want to do to you!  So on Tuesday I get to be the designated caregiver.  It will be a nice change of role for me!

Hope all of you are enjoying a great Family Day Weekend!

Another beautiful day!  Keep wondering when winter will be back.  This can't be it can it?  Geoff and Lindsey came over this morning for cinnamon buns and a photo shoot!  Things are starting to come together for the wedding!  It will be here before we know it!

Had a lunch date with two of my neighbours.  We went to a place called Stonehill down on Harvest Hills.  Very nice!  Both girls had birthdays this week so we celebrated their birthdays and had a nice visit!

Came home and headed off to Nose Hill which is becoming the standard daily activity.  Ran into a a fellow who's kids I used to teach many years ago.  I know he has been curious why I am up there in the middle of the day and I know he is dying to ask me so finally today I decided to tell him.  So.......things not to say when someone tells you they have cancer!  "Well, when your time is up, your time is up."  Hmmmm.....I'm not thinking my time is up yet.  The other one I got a couple of weeks ago was "Oh....that's what my Dad died of!"  Guess I've had my share of blooper comments but if you are ever wondering what to say to someone I might suggest these are not the best response!

Bill still plugging away in our basement working on replacing piping.  We have not had heat on the main or upper floors of our house now for two days!  It is a little chilly in here!  Thank goodness we are not having a major cold spell right now or we would be in big trouble!  Hopefully he can get things wrapped up in the next day or so.  I keep thinking if Kelli were here she would die!  She finds our house cold at the best of times.  This would probably finish her!

Wishing everyone a great Family Day weekend!  Get out and enjoy this great weather while it's here!  Who knows how long it will last.

I am continuing to practice my "P" virtues today.  Positivity, perseverance and patience!  I am doing pretty good on the first two but am really struggling with the third!  Still no word from the surgeon,  and as much as I would dearly like to call and be the squeaky wheel,  I am forcing myself to wait until next week to  inquire as to what the plan is.  I know I was told my surgery would be 4-6 weeks following treatment depending on how I recovered, however, I am curious as to how they plan to monitor my recovery when they haven't seen me nor have they booked me for any appointments or tests!  As far as I am concerned I am recovered now, which realistically speaking, I know is not true.  The simple truth, however,  is I do feel really good, I have no discomfort and continue to feel guilty when I run into people who look at me and marvel at how healthy I look! The only discomfort I have at the moment is an itchy back at the site where they radiated me.  My brother-in-law (a doctor) pointed out that the trauma to my esophagus would be 4 times what I am experiencing on my skin as they went in from four different sites, targeting the same spot in my throat.   I know my focus right now should be to stay healthy and to enjoy this time prior to my surgery.  I have a lot on my plate but as I mentioned in yesterdays blog it feels like I am just coasting right now.  I need to change that mind set and realize that I actually am doing positive things right now.  Staying strong and healthy by eating well and continuing with my fitness regime is important and needs to be my primary focus!

Today I am thinking about four people I know who are struggling with serious health problems.  I will not elaborate on their conditions or situations but I will say that my heart goes out to each of them and to their families as I know their struggles are much more difficult than my own.  To each of these special people and their families I am sending my love, my concern, my positive thoughts and my prayers!

A beautiful, sunny snow day!  Will most definitely be hitting the off leash park with my four legged friend this afternoon.  No phone calls on the white telephone last night.  Don't know what that sick night was about but I am totally recovered and feeling good again.  The good thing is that the couple of times I have had issues they have been short lived!

Slid into the school last night to take some treats to the Parent Council Meeting.  Went at 5:00 and thought I would slip in and out unseen but forgot that the school has an after school kids program on Tuesdays.  I ran into a couple of teacher's on my way in and was visiting with them in the front entrance and the kids spotted me and out they all came.  It was so nice to see all of them.  One little guy looked up at me and said "Mrs. Sherlock!  You're back!"  I said , "No, not yet, I'm just visiting."  He then said "Will you be back tomorrow?"  I answered that I wouldn't be back for awhile.....he looked up at me and said "Mrs. Sherlock, I thought you had cancer!"  Don't you just love kids!  They just say whatever is in their heads!  Not like us adults who always worry about whether we are saying the right thing....how should we say it?  Should we say it at all?  I think that's what I love the most about kids.  They never worry about what comes out of their mouths....  To say I have missed these characters would be the understatement of the year!  One thing about working with kid is they can make you totally crazy but they also make you laugh every single day!  The teachers I ran into looked tired!  One of them looked at me and said "You look better than we do!"  I don't think so but I do know that this is a tough time of year for teachers.  Convention kind of marks the halfway mark and is a milestone we all wait for!  The kids go a little nuts because they have a long weekend coming up!  Makes for an interesting "short" week!  As for looking good, I had a funny one last week.  Was going in for one of my last radiations and my appointment was a little later than usual.  All of the parking lots were full and an attendant was standing in front of one of the entrances letting in some vehicles and not others.  When I got up to him I put down my window to talk to him.  He said that the lots were all full and he was only admitting handicapped and cancer patients.  My window was halfway up when I heard him say "cancer patients" and I quickly put my window back down and said "I'm a cancer patient!"  He gave me the "yeah, right look...."  and asked to see my "Red Card", which is the card you show everywhere you go in the Tom Baker!  Hard to believe you have to prove you are a Tom Baker patient to park in the hospital parking lot!  I actually think he even doubted the card was mine but he did,  reluctantly, let me into the lot.

So I will leave you with today's quote and I do LOVE THIS ONE!

To laugh often and much:
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children:
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends
to appreciate beauty:
to find the best in others:
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you lived,
This is to have succeeded!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Have had a pretty quiet day today.  Had a rough go last night.  Don't know what happened.  I went through five weeks of chemo and radiation and was not sick to my stomach once.  Seems weird to have been finished for a week and then wham.....sick!  I was a little off yesterday.  Had a stomach ache but chose to ignore it.  Went to bed and finally told Bill I wasn't feeling good.  He of course gave me my anti nausea pills which I promptly threw up!  Continued to be sick for a couple of hours then went to sleep and awoke this morning right as rain!  Like nothing had happened!  So strange!  Haven't been sick like that for years!  Probably the last time was when I over indulged on whiskey sours many New Years Eve's ago when I was young and foolish!!!

Have stayed close to home.  Good thing because this afternoon we discovered a leak in our pipes in our storage area.  Bill has replaced most of the pipes in our house but this one section he hadn't yet gotten to. Well, they have now sprung a leak and we spent a good hour hauling wet stuff out of our crawl space into the family room.  Just when you think your house is coming together this happens.  What a mess!  Lucky we caught it  before it got too bad.  A lot of our Christmas stuff is soaked though so we spent time unpacking stuff and throwing stuff away!  The only good thing about something like this is it makes you clear out some of the clutter that you have been hanging on to.

Just going to head off to the off leash park and then over to the school to deliver some brownies to the parents for the Parent Council Meeting as my thank you them for the gift of letters, cards and gift cards they and others sent to me. Those letters and cards meant the world to me.  I sent a note into the school and asked them to publish it in the school newsletter and I know that many of the parents who attend this meeting were part of this gift, however, I also know I have missed many and hope that via the grapevine, or perhaps via this blog they will know how much this gift meant to me.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today is my first Monday in six weeks where I do not have to spend the day at the Foothills getting chemotherapy and radiation!  Have had few side effects from this regime, still have my hair and have had few of the sub-human side effects predicted.  The one thing that is driving me crazy is an incredibly itchy back!  The radiation was targeted at the same spots each time and the skin in those areas is thin and will be sun sensitive for the rest of my life!  I just want to go out to the backyard and rub my back up and down on the apple tree like an itchy Grizzly Bear!!!  I was pretty much a grumpy Grizzly Bear on the weekend but did crash into bed early last night and have risen with my usual happy disposition this morning. We put Kelli on the plane back to Vancouver last night.  It was so nice to have her here but it is time for her to get some normal back in her life too!  She is planning to return when I have my surgery!  I am thinking that may be a time I need her more.  She told me she fully expected this past month was going to be really rough and she would be supporting me and looking after me....instead it was just a darn good visit!!!

Good news!  Bill has started his training!  Did an hour on the bike yesterday and suffered extreme numb bum!  He can't even imagine what effect 200 km in the saddle will feel like!

Came across a great quote the other day which kind of sums up what your support has meant to me.
"We are all angels with one wing - we can fly only embracing each other."   I have been embraced by so many people!  I don't think a day has passed without some good deed coming my way whether it be a phone call from someone I haven't heard from in a while, an email, a card, tickets to a Flames game, movie passes,  a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a meal, a gift, an unexpected visit, an invitation to lunch or dinner.  The list just goes on and on!  Each of you has contributed to my "positive" spirits!  You give me reason to be positive....you remind me who I am and that I am loved!  The lessons I am learning, and believe me, I have learned many will never leave me!  To say this experience is life altering is the understatement of the year!  Last year when we went to Nepal I came back with a whole new perspective on the life we enjoy here!  We have so much yet we tend to be so unsatisfied with our lot in life!  Geoff, Lindsey, Bill and I were amazed at the people of Nepal.   They have so little yet they appreciate their lives!  One day we were sitting around with our guide Davinder.  We had just seen a yak train on trail that day, all decked out in their colorful Tibetan blankets.  I  suggested to Davinder we should go into business together.  I would buy the Yak and a camera for him and he could set up a business where tourists like us could pay him 500 rupees to sit on the Yak and get their photo taken. It told Davinder I could make him a rich man.  He listened to me with a smile on his face, nodding his head and when I finished he said "Maybe in my next life!"  Davinder owned a farm which his wife looks after during the trekking season.  He is away for many many weeks at a time guiding trekkers like ourselves over the Annapurna Circuit or to Everest Base Camp.  We spent three weeks with him and he had done a previous trek to Mt. Everest before joining us so had not seen his family in several weeks.  Not once did he complain.....which was totally the nature of all the Nepali's we came in contact with,  Accept your lot in life, work hard and appreciate everything you have.  Another lesson he gave us was equally enlightening.  Whenever we entered a small town we would enter through a stone gate that invariably had three stone columns on top.  One column was white, one red and one black.  We noticed this was pretty much the norm for each community we entered and asked him what the columns represented.  He told us the white column represented the Budhists, the red, the Hindu's and the black everyone else.  Then he looked at us and said.....all the same as he spread his arms out and looked up to the sky!  Interesting!  What a place the world would be if we all embraced that attitude!

Time to get on with my day!  I have rambled enough!  Seem to get a little sidetracked at times.  Can I still blame that on the Chemotherapy!  Probably not!  But I will anyways!

Tonight Kelli headed back to Vancouver.  We have so enjoyed having her for the month but now it is time for her to get back to the business of living her life!  I know this is hard for her because she likes to see for herself how I am doing.  We have made a pact that I will continue to "Be in Charge of my Attitude!" and she needs to do the same!  She is the worrier in our family!  Probably because a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.  The rest of us can just go about our business not really knowing all the intricate details that she knows!  I tend to be a bit of a worrier too although I have tried really hard throughout this process to focus on the things I have control of and to try not to worry about the things I do not.  I am not perfect at this but think I have done a pretty decent job of it considering my disposition to fret!

I have to thank Mike for his patience and understanding.  I know he has missed Kelli but has not once made her feel guilty about being home with me!  If you are reading this Mike, Thankyou for this gift!

I have been a little grumpy this weekend.  Just feeling a little off kilter.  Can't really put my finger on why because I'm feeling good and I'm happy to be treatment free for a bit.  Having said that I think there is a bit of a contradiction here because when I was going to the hospital every day and having treatments I was doing something!  I was attacking this thing every day!  Now I am in limbo with no plan.  They have explained to me that the radiation will continue to shrink the tumour over the next month and the tissue needs to heal before they can attempt the surgery.  Despite knowing this,  I am very much a "plan" kind of person and I need to have some concrete dates and info.  Think I will be much more settled when I hear from my surgeon's office on where we go from here!  I am hopeful I will hear something this week!

So my goal for the week is to practice patience!  To continue focussing on staying healthy and positive!
I am in charge of my attitude!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c81bcjyfn6U

So today's ramble will be about the Honey Badgers. I just watched the above link and after watching the Honey Badger take on a very poisonous snake, get bitten, pass out like it was dead and then awake "from his hangover" to finish eating the snake, my comment was "they sure are tough!"  Kelli looked at me and said "You mean they sure are stupid!"  Anyways...if you are a supporter of the Honey Badgers you might want to look at the above link!

Speaking of the Honey Badgers.....they are doing an amazing job of raising funds for the Ride To Conquer Cancer.  To date there are ten on the team and they are in fifth place in Alberta for raising money!  Pretty impressive when you consider they are up against big corporate teams like Enbridge!  There are others planning to join the team so the Honey Badgers may grow in numbers!  Not all have reached their $2500 minimum but to date the team has raised in total, over $19,000. Thanks to many of you who have supported Geoff and Bill!  Geoff has started his training in earnest and Bill is talking about starting his!  If you want to help you could start bombarding Bill with emails encouraging, nagging, reminding him......GET STARTED NOW!  STOP PROCRASTINATING!  Successful people replace the words "wish", "should" and "try" with I WILL!!

Thanks to each and every one of you who have supported this cause and thanks to those who are riding on my behalf and for others like me!  GO HONEY BADGERS!!!!  This morning I was talking to my friend Maureen.  Her husband, Duane is planning to do the leg from Vancouver to Seattle AND the Calgary ride as well!  Ambitious guy!  I said to Maureen maybe we could form a girl's team next year!  I'm up for that one!  Any other takers???!!???  Think about it!
signing off and have a great weekend!
"Queen Honey Badger!"

Man, it's cold out there or have we just been spoiled a little by our lack of winter!!!???  The surgeon's office did not call today!  Damn!  Was really hoping they'd get back to me but guess I will just have to line up and wait my turn!  Hopefully will hear back from them next week!

Despite the gray, dreary day got out and about and enjoyed myself.  Drove Kelli to work this morning so I could have my car to run a few errands and then met Judy for lunch!  Lunch with Judy is always a treat!  Anything with Judy is a treat and anyone who knows her knows what I am talking about!  She is one of those people who makes you smile from the inside out!  She brought me the most awesome t-shirt, a Livestrong T-shirt with all sorts of little reminders on it for me....such as "Fight like hell, hope is not enough, defiance, courage, quitting lasts forever, Hope etc. etc. etc."  Love it!  Also gave me a card that really summed it up.  If you didn't know it, I am a huge Winnie the Pooh fan!  The card said "Sometimes," thought Pooh, "life is just one bother after another.".......That's what all this is you know.....a real bother!!!

Not much else report today, although some good news!  For the first time I am not sagging on Friday like I usually do.  If you have been following these blogs you will know that by the end of the week my counts are usually low and I just start to run out of gas.  For some reason I'm not experiencing that today.  Wondering if it's because I know the treatments are done and it's just a mindset!  Could be!  It is very liberating to know that I am finished with the chemo and radiation!  Anyways....hope everyone has a great weekend!!!  May just take the weekend off of blogging….unless something really fantastic pops up! You just never know!!!

A free Thursday...no hospital, no radiation!  It was like a breath of fresh air.  Kind of felt like a Saturday or Sunday.

Phoned my surgeon's office this morning to find out what the plan was from here.  He was in surgery today but his nurse did tell me he had been looking at my file and she would talk to him tomorrow and find out where we go from here.  I slipped in my not so subtle reminder (and I can almost see them roll their eyes, even over the phone line) that I need to be in Mexico in early May!  I anxiously await the call to let me know the plan from this point forward.  Who looks forward to their surgery?  Me!!!  I can hardly wait!!  Scared spitless but can't wait!  That's a bit of a contradition I know but true!

Kelli and I met a good friend for coffee and had a great catch up.  He too has had some "setbacks" that he is dealing with and it was nice to hear about someone else's problems for a change!  Not that I'm happy he has problems but it's sometimes nice to remember there are other people out there dealing with serious issues!  It's not all about me that's for sure!

We are off to a combination Birthday/Engagement party tonight at Lindsey's Mom and Dad's home.  Should be a fun get together!  Glad I'm feeling perky tonight as I often do start to fade as the week progresses.

Thanks again to all of you who took time to send me email messages, treats, beautiful flowers,  phone calls etc. yesterday!  You all tell me I am your inspiration but truly you are my inspiration.  Your positive messages give me hope and purpose.  You keep me focussed.  I never lose sight of the fact I have a team behind me and you are it! This morning Bill looked at me and said we are going to owe so many people for the rest of our lives aren't we?  Know this.....I have learned much from your generosity and if any of you are faced with this I will be in your corner just as you have been in mine!  I only hope you each know how much your support has meant to all of us!  Thankyou from the bottom, middle and top of my heart!  I am blessed and I know it!

Hip hip hurrehh!!!!  I am officially done!  Got up this morning, had my workout, headed off to the hospital with my thankyou treats in hand for my Radiation team, met with the nurse who continues to tell me that the next month could be rough.....(I always finish that appointment thinking I have disappointed them with my lack of problems and symptoms), went with Bill to the Lazy Loaf for breakfast to celebrate, did a little birthday shopping for the February birthday girl and boy (Lindsey and Geoff), then headed off to COP with my cowbell to cheer on Geoff's hockey team. We sat down and I started to rummage in my purse for the bell.  Bill said he was moving to another seat if I was planning to ring it but he was all talk!   Geoff's team scored the first goal and I rang that bell loud and clear.  There were only about five spectators in the entire arena so there was no doubt who was ringing the bell.  Geoff was on the bench in front of us and I saw him turn and speak to the others and four heads turned and stared up at me.  It became very obvious to me that they are not used to having fans so I thought I would treat them to an enthusiastic spectator!   Anyways....on the next shift one of the guys who had looked up scored and I let the bell sing out!  Geoff said the guy skated over and said "Hey that felt pretty good to have the bell ring for me!"  So you see you are never, never to old to enjoy the cowbell!!!  The score ended up 8-8 so I got to ring lots!  Great fun!  Took me back to the good old Westwood days!  I was way more obnoxious then!  Hopefully Geoff will continue to invite me to his games!  After the game headed home, collected Boomer and went up to Nose Hill to do our daily loop.  A great day!

Not sure where I go from here but will be calling the surgeon's office tomorrow to find out!  Need to make sure I'm on his dance card in the next month!  When I tell people who my surgeon is everyone tells me I am very lucky and that he is brilliant at what he does!  That makes me feel good as I am told this will be up to a 9 hour surgery!  Just a little scared of this thought!  (Maybe a little more than a little actually)

I have had tons of messages from many of you today!  Flowers, cards, lottery tickets, chicken soup, donations for the Ride To Conquer Cancer!  Thankyou!

So todays message...."LIFE IS FULL OF SETBACKS, SUCCESS IS DETERMINED BY HOW HOW YOU HANDLE THOSE SETBACKS"  That's how I'm viewing all of this.....a setback that I'm dealing with!!!

Tomorrow is my last day of treatment.  Going to take some treats in for the people who have been zapping me all month!  They are awesome people.  You hear so many bad things about the health care system, however, I must tell you my experience has been amazing.  Kind, competent, compassionate people....from the cleaning staff to the doctors!  No complaints from me!

When leaving the hospital today I ran into Mavis Clark, sister-in-law of our friends Barry and Wendy.  Mavis lost her husband to lung cancer last year.  He had never smoked, was a healthy person and it was unbelievable that he was diagnosed with this particular cancer!  Sound familiar?  Mavis has been busy doing some major fund raising to support lung cancer research and was at the Tom Baker to meet with Paul's oncologist to discuss funding a fellowship position for up to two years to do research into lung cancer!  There are so many people out there trying to make a difference!

Finished up my treatment today and came home and collected Kelli.  She worked nightshift last night at the Foothills but wanted to come with me to go to my "Look good, feel better" session today.  It was basically a makeup lesson and we left with about $450 in free cosmetics, many top name brands!  Six volunteers taught the session to six participants and their support buddies.  When you go through treatment your skin tone often changes so they teach you how to compensate for these changes.  I wasn't an expert before this experience and learned a lot!  It was tons of fun!  My teacher was a young girl name Mindy and she was fantastic!  There was another young lady there, probably about the age of Kelli.  Seven years ago she had bone cancer and had a bone marrow transplant.  She then rejected and ended up with a form of leukemia which caused issues with her lungs, resulting in a double lung transplant!  What a story!  She looks fabulous, is positive and is now making a difference to others!  She volunteers for this program and is the chairperson for the upcoming World Transplant Games which will be hosted in Calgary next summer.  Turns out she knows my pal Kathy and her son Robbie who is also a double lung transplant survivor!  Small world!

Don't know where I go after tomorrow but plan to phone my surgeon and remind him I have a wedding I need to be at!  Although my blood counts have dropped from where they started they continue to be within in low normal range.  I'm not really sure what has to recover before the surgery happens but in my mind, the sooner I can have the surgery, the longer I have to recover before May!

YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!  Do you think I'm Happy?????  YIPEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!  I finished my last chemo this morning.  Surprisingly my blood counts had not dropped significantly in the past week and I am still in the low normal range in most areas!  Two more days of radiation and then a break!  I can hardly wait.  Guess I will need to meet with the surgeon at some point to hear what the plan is but I'm hoping that my surgery can happen sooner than later so that I can have more time to recover before Geoff's wedding.  I don't care if they have to carry me to a lounge chair and sit me there for the week....I desperately want to be there with all my family and friends to celebrate this day with two people I love very much!!!

Had my chemo and radiation this morning.  My cubicle partner was a man who has to have 40 days of chemo (in a row).  Makes my five look pretty paltry I'm thinking.  It is quite sobering to see how sick some people look and what they are going through.  I almost feel like an impostor when I go there.  Today the nurse looked at me and said "So you are here for your first treatment?"  I looked at her and said "No, I'm here for my LAST treatment!"  She did a double take and re-read the chart then looked back at me and I said "And I even still have my hair!"  I was pretty sure I would lose my hair through this as one of the drugs they are giving me does have this side effect!  I even spent an afternoon trying on wigs.  Got a chance to see what I would look like with "nice" hair!  The wigs definitely looked better than my own hair.  That is not to say I was hoping to lose my hair.  Just thought I would try them on before I lost it so they could match the colour, length and style to what I now have.  Thinking now that this was just a fun afternoon activity with my cousin.  Fitting that she came with me when I got my first bra 43 years ago and then came with me to offer up moral support on the wig!  She was much kinder wig shopping.  I actually still have scars from the bra trip.  My Mom took us back to school shopping at Chinook Woodwards.  All the girls at school were wearing bras and I wanted one too.  So Mom humoured me and bought me a "training bra".  My cousin whipped it out of the bag right in the middle of the shoe department, waved it over her head like a flag and shouted "That statue over there needs this more than you do!"  I love my cousin but I have NEVER forgotten that shopping trip!  (And incidentally, I secretly agreed with her and never did wear that damn bra!)

We had a good chuckle today during my treatment.  Kelli suggested I should be wearing my Terry Fox Shoes.  I only wear them a couple of times per year, once for our big school run, then for the annual headshave and wrap up assembly.  Then go back on the shelf!  Kelli wore them when she wrote her MCAT exams......they are symbols of courage and determination to both of us.  I decided I would wear them when I go for the surgery.  I am quite nervous about this part of the journey and think a little courage and determination might be in order.  As I was thinking about this I wondered out loud if they might let me wear them for the surgery as they would be outside of the sterile field!!???  We both started to laugh at the vision of me naked on the operating table, wearing my Terry Fox shoes!  They would probably call in the Psych Department I'm thinking!!!

I'm attaching a little inspiration that my friend Laurie sent me yesterday, as well as a pic of my shoes!
Enjoy!

Was in bed at 7:30 last night!  Pathetic for a Saturday night but another crash and burn night.  The end of the week seems to be hitting me harder as time goes on.  On the positive side I have rebounded and feel much better today!  Only three more days to go!

Kelli told me today that on her BMO online banking page the ID message that comes up is "My Mother is Leslie" and the accompanying image is an elephant!  She swears she didn't set it up this way!  Hmmmmm......

We have had quite a chuckle today!  They say you can be affected cognitively by chemotherapy!  So that's my excuse.  I don't know what Kelli is going to use as her excuse!  Perhaps shiftwork and lack of sleep? Perhaps the fact she's blonde?   In any case while checking her banking Kelli said "the Ride to Conquer Cancer has charged me $150 and I haven't donated yet."  Then she noticed a couple of other charges she had not made.  We soon realized that we have each been doing "Retail Therapy" on each other's credit cards.  Somehow we managed to get our cards mixed up!  What a couple of Ditzes!!!  Bill says we are dangerous!

Off to my cousins tonight for Superbowl Sunday!  Not that I'm at all into the Superbowl but it will be fun to get together!  Had to even check this mornings paper to see who was playing!

What a glorious day!  Got up this morning and headed down for my workout.  For the first time I wasn't able to finish what I had planned!  The good news is I listened to my body and packed things in early and had quite a light workout.  Seem to have very little gas in the tank today! I'm wondering if it could be the twenty radiations and four chemotherapy sessions I have had?????  Hmmmmm.......Guess that's possible.

Took Boomer out for a quick pee and encountered not one but two porcupines in our ravine below our house!  Thankfully I saw them and he did not!  I'm thinking though it's only a question of time before the inevitable happens here!

Kelli off to watch badminton at the Glencoe Club and although I really wanted to go too I decided a germy badminton lobby might not be the best place to go today.  So instead will wait to hear about the matches from her!

Called Jenifer and we headed off to Nose Hill for a walk.  The park was crawling with dogs and their owners and we decided to do the long loop this morning.  Good decision!  What a glorious day to be out for a walk.  Returned home and said to Bill it's a gin and tonic day on the deck!  He said "Hmmmm.....how bout a smoothie instead?"  So coconut and fruit smoothie it was and if I closed my eyes I could almost believe I was having a pina colada!!!  Notice I said "almost".

Just going to continue to lay low today and hope to bounce back tomorrow.  Usually these low days only last a day or so.  My brother told me to listen to my biorhythms.....I'm listening!

Dear friends....thankyou so much for your support of Geoff and Bill on the upcoming bike ride.  Maureen has also kindly said she will throw in a tube of vaseline for Bill's bum!  Support has gone from some of the most unexpected and delightful places.  It makes a person smile to know of all the generosity and goodness there is out there.  I'm tearing up as I write this but they are happy tears and tears of gratitude.  I am so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life!  I always did appreciate this fact but all of this business has brought it to the forefront!

Oh what a beautiful day!  The end of my final full week.  I only have three to go.  One chemo and three radiations!  Only five days, 20 hours, 29 minutes and 12 seconds left! Unbelievably this part of the journey is almost complete and I hope I am not jinxing myself but I have not had the adverse tough time that my doctors predicted I would.  Kelli told me today that a friend of hers, also a doctor, told her she had seen a patient with the same condition as mine a short time ago, and he was unable to tolerate the chemo/radiation.  After a week and a half they had to terminate the treatment and go straight to surgery!  I seriously believe my exercise regime has been a very positive factor in all of this!

I find I start to fade as the week progresses.  Last night I was considering heading down to the Glencoe to watch some of the National Badminton Championships but started to feel tired around supper time. Instead I crawled into bed at 8 PM, planning to read.  After two pages, I switched out the light and prompty fell asleep for 10.5 hours!  I haven't done that in years!!!  A quiet day today.  My friend Kathy came over and we went for a walk in Nose Hill Park.  It felt like spring out there!  Boomer is benefiting from these daily walks.  He tends to gain a few in the winter but with this walking schedule has trimmed back to his proper weight!  I probably would too if it weren't for the endless treats that find their way to me.  Today Kathy brought me four of the most decadent donuts I have ever eaten from a place called Jelly Modern Donuts!  I did not eat all four and I made her join me!  I call it sympathetic eating so if you come bearing treats come prepared to share in the taste experience!

Today I was trying to think of who my inspiration would be for todays blog.  With my focus on how fitness helps you get through things I decided today's inspiration would be my Dad!  A few years ago he was riding his bike into Invermere to pay his taxes when he was struck down by a large motor home.  They wanted to airlift him to Calgary but because of thunderstorms could not, instead opting to send him to Cranbrook.  I will diverge here for a moment and tell you that if you ever get injured in the valley DO NOT LET THEM TAKE YOU TO CRANBROOK!  Dad broke 8 ribs, punctured his lung and broke both his scapula and collarbone.  He was a mess.  They had no beds for him and he spent three days on a gurney in the Emergency department.  Each day I would ask when he would be moved to a room, their answer always being there are no rooms available.  On the third morning my Dad whispered to me that Cranbrook Hospital was a strange place....he believed the nurses had had an after hours party (probably drugs involved he thought) and another patient was running around exposing himself and had to be restrained.  I promptly went to the desk and once again asked when he would be moved to a proper room, again being told not yet.  I then recounted what Dad had told me he thought had occurred the night previously.  Within fifteen minutes he was in a room!  This really doesn't have to do with his fitness I know but it is a good story!  To get back to the fitness part of it if you know my Dad he is the probably one of the fittest 82 year olds on the planet!  He works out hard on a daily basis, plays tennis and swims during the winter months and rides his bike, gardens and plays golf in the summer.  His religion is "Activity".  When I took him to pick up his battered bike at the RCMP detachment in Invermere the constable looked up at us and said "We thought you died!".  All the doctors who saw dad said it was his high level of fitness that saved his life and aided in his road to recovery.  A crash such as he had endured would have killed 99% of people his age!

I have always been a bit of a "health/fitness zealot" and I imagine will become even more so when I have completed my recovery!  I encourage all of you to appreciate your health and take care of yourself! I have come to realize that we have no control over whether or not we get this devastating disease.  It does not seem to discriminate!  When you sit around the Tom Baker on a daily basis you do some reading.  One in two Albertans will get cancer in their lifetime and one in four will die from it!  Those are sobering statistics.  You can do all the preventative things and I believe it does help but it is not an insurance policy that you will be spared.  Look after your health!  It's a gift we all need to give ourselves.  I truly believe my fitness and my health are going to save my life!

Good Morning All!  And a hearty thanks to at least 40 people who sent me White Rabbits, Bunny luck or Wabbit Luck yesterday!  You guys rock the boat!  I'm feeling well stocked in the luck department for the month of February and will make my appeal once again at the end of the month as March is going to be an important month for me as well.  That is when I will be having my surgery.  How invasive you ask?  Do you really want to know?  For the faint of heart read no further.  They will remove my esophagus, totally take it out and then stretch my stomach up and connect it to form a new esophagus leaving me with a smaller stomach and hence a smaller capacity for food consumption for the rest of my life.  I will have to become a frequent small meal eater but they say that's a better way to eat anyways right!?  It is a long surgery and I will be in ICU for a period of time and off of food for at least a week.  As you know the mission has been to "plump up Leslie" and has met with some success but I keep telling my family they are dead if by some miracle I go through this and don't lose an ounce!  Highly unlikely I'm thinking when I see what their plan for me is though!  I look forward to being back to my old weight though.  When I shower in the morning I have taken to towelling off in the shower then stepping out and facing the wall avoiding glimpses of my chubby body!  Caroline says I should adopt a technique she learned at yoga of "softening my gaze".......whatever the heck that means.  Think I'll just stick to looking at the wall.

To all of you who have supported my son Geoff in his Ride To Conquer Cancer on my behalf a big thank you!  He has reached his goal and is overwhelmed by your support!  It means the world.  His team, the "Honey Badgers" is growing and now Bill has also decided to join the ride.  Sooo.....if and only if you were planning to support Geoff perhaps you would consider throwing your support behind Bill instead.  All the money goes to the same cause but each rider in the group must raise a minimum of $2500.  This was Geoff's idea, not mine and I said I would stick it in my blog.  Thankyou my friends....I am in no way pressuring you to do this but for those of you who have done so and will do so I will tell you this is one of the nicest gifts you have given my family.  As Kelli's boyfriend Mike put it....people don't get cancer, families do!  He is so right.  The impact this has had on all of us has been huge!

Having said all this I continue to do well.  Only one chemo and four radiations to go!  It seemed so daunting at the beginning when I knew I had 23 radiations and 5 chemos.  The time has gone quite quickly......Hopefully this pace will continue!  Love to you all.
Leslie

Well, I have been overwhelmed by the number of emails I have received telling me that my pals have jumped on board and bought into my superstitious obsession of remembering to say "White Rabbits"....first thing out of the mouth on the first day of the month.  Thankyou to each and everyone who joined me this morning and then sent me your share of bunny luck!  I think I am covered for the month of February!  If you have not sent me an email to tell me you did it perhaps you could???  I am really curious how much luck I acquired this morning.  (ljsherlock@hotmail.com )  Thankyou one and all!

Not a really eventful day really, although I did have a few moments of excitement this afternoon.  Had both my treatment and Nurse consult today which has been, and continues to be a non-event.  I think I am boring them with my lack of symptoms.  She almost seemed excited to document I had been sick for a couple of days last week!

My excitement happened in Nose Hill today!  Not the porcupine, thank goodness but something just as bad, perhaps worse.  I'm trucking along with Boomer and my friends pup Sienna when I look across the field and see a rather large pit bull barrelling down on us with his owner racing after him screaming "No Storm, No Storm."  I look at this guy and shout...."Is he OK?"  I must confess I love dogs but do have a huge fear and mistrust of Pit Bulls!  The dog was coming on full bore and Boomer and Sienna are totally oblivious, busy sniffing up some smell in the tall grass!  I jump out in front of this approaching dog, waving my arms and shouting and he stops dead in his tracks and just looks at me.  There I'm standing thinking to myself....I can't believe I've gone through four weeks of chemo and radiation and am going to end up getting my throat ripped up by this goon of a dog!  How ironic would that be.  Well...the excitement ended there because the guy caught up and grabbed the dog but I could tell he was also worried about what might have happened.  Don't know for the life of me why someone would take a dog like that to an off leash park and let him run loose.  Shook me up just a little!  Probably had to use up some of my "White Rabbit Luck" on that one I'm thinking!

So they always say "Write for your audience."  As I really don't know who all my audience are I'm thinking that I should change up my content a little tonight to appeal to the more factual and scientific in the bunch.  I'm thinking about the time Kelli was travelling in Holland and sent an email home on the same day, one to me and one to her brother Geoff.  My email read as follows...."We are in Amsterdam.  Took a canal tour today.  Beautiful cobblestone streets.  Toured Anne Franks Cottage and saw lovely flowers.  What an interesting city!"  (Ahhhhhh.....Mom's happy, right?)
til I read the email she sent her brother Geoff.
In Amsterdam.  Went to the red light district!  Hookers in every window with red lights everywhere! Sex shops everywhere!  Played a VLT and won $300!  (she was only 16 at the time)
So this is my example of writing for your audience.
My goodness this is a random writing tonight isn't it!!!

Well...to my scientific audience....thought you might like to see a list of the meds I am taking, some daily, some as needed, some only on certain days

Mint-Ondansetron, Apo-Dexamethasome, ApoMetoclop, PMS Prochloperazina, Xylocaine Viscous, Ratio-Omeprazole, Raro-Docusate, Ratio Codeine, Paclitaxel, CarboPlatin
On top of these I have another list of perscriptions to fill as needed!

Bill and Kelli know all these drugs by name and what they do.  I myself know them by their color and when I'm supposed to take them.  There's the golden bullet, the pink pill, the red gel tabs, the steriods (which I hate) , the blue wonders.......Etc. etc.  Pathetic I know but it's a good thing my caregivers have it covered!  I just let them do the talking when I'm asked what I've been taking!

Anyways...thanks again for your Bunny Support!  Look forward to hearing who took part.  I'll give you a head count by the end of the week.  Will try to do a better job on tomorrow blog.  Am a little foggy and just heard from Bill that "Bad Teacher" is on TV....so I'm heading down to watch!!!
Love ya all!